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Endeavor Endless

from Prologue by Autumn Above

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lyrics

Waiting, been waiting all of my life
for you to see me, for
you to know my name.
I hold you in all of my dreams.
I've watched you for so long, you're
the only girl for me.
You were my girl next door,
a story told a thousand times before, but
they always get their girl.
I'll never have my girl.
The very core of my inspiration,
my every thought has been bent on you.
Before I can remember, my longest endeavor.

I've called your name but you ignore
every single time.
God put me here, girl, just for you.
Don't make me be alone.
You alone could help me through my wasted life.
I've wasted all my time on you,
and I can't explain why.

The poison flows through black veins;
sweet syringe so you can feel alive.
As you're used on all fours,
just like the whore you are.
And you fade, you decay,
but I could pull you out.
Take my hand, just hold on,
just let me be your savior.

There is so much I need to tell you,
yeah there's so much that you should know.
I know all of your secrets, and I can see past your flaws.
I know all about addiction;
my fixation has never ceased.
I have suffered withdrawal with every day that you're not with me.
I have followed you down each alley,
every dark road, you're not alone.
I was born to protect you.
Please let me be the one.
And on those nights when you shiver,
never once did I see you cry.
Don't hold back any longer,
just let me make you stronger.

I try and try to walk away, but I can't give you up.
I lost my way in search for you.
Don't make me be alone.
You alone could help me through this wasted life.
I wasted all this time on you as every day goes by.

A guttered life, laced with promiscuous infection
and injection which pries you from loving those
who could and do love you.
As I peel thy skin like a tangerine,
claw at my own skull, sobbing chokes, dry heaves.
My shaking hands fumble, a frantic convulsion.
I try to decipher what they've called delusion.
Dear god, I know you're to blame.

I always knew that my life was over,
ever since that first day I saw you.

And they all tell me that I have to let you go,
and all those bullshit clichés I've already heard.
And that it's not too late to live life as I should.
Tomorrow is a new day, I should see it through.

Whatever happens, happens, that is just the way it goes.
My son, you must know that god has a plan for everyone.
I'm fully aware of our so-called-father's master plan:
Endless ruin.

You were my girl next door,
a story told a thousand times before, but
they always get their girl.
I'll never have my girl.

I've called your name but you ignore
every single time.
God put me here, girl, just for you.
Don't make me be alone.
You alone could help me through my wasted life.
I've wasted all my time on you, and I can't explain why.

credits

from Prologue, track released December 3, 2010

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Autumn Above Beverly, Massachusetts

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